Top 20 things I’ve learnt in relationships

#1 – It’s a problem to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t willing to be emotionally vulnerable with you.

#2 – Don’t stay romantically involved with someone just because they need you. You can be a good friend without being a partner.

#3 – When you first start seeing someone new, don’t see them too often too quickly – it leads to attachment before you even know whether or not you’re compatible. Take time and space.

#4 – Are your lives together compatible? Do your lifestyles work well together?

#5 – When you want space and time, communicate this to your partner. Don’t just ghost or disappear.

#6 – Try not to react and act based solely on emotion, allow logic and reason to catch up before acting.

#7 – Mutual effort makes a relationship. Don’t expect the guy to put in all the effort – even with initiating contact.

#8 – Make sure it’s not your anxious attachment style that is keeping you there. If you see they are pulling away or not making effort, keep telling yourself that you deserve better and walk away.

#9 – Don’t allow your personal insecurities ruin a relationship. How things appear in your mind aren’t always how they are in real life.

#10 – Any issues with their exes from the beginning is a red flag. Let them resolve it without getting involved, leave them to it.

#11 – Points that let you know a guy is a promising partner:
How he treats his parents
How he speaks about past girlfriends
If he respects your boundaries
If he has integrity and humility
How transparent (open and honest) he is.

#12 – If you know things aren’t right in your relationship but you feel as though you can’t end it because your feelings are so strong then take a time out instead.

#13 – If being with them becomes more painful than being without them then it’s time to cut them loose.

#14 – If he won’t choose you and isn’t totally sure about you then it means he’s not free to be with you – you deserve wholehearted love.

#15 – Trust certainty, exclusivity and boundaries are what you should be looking for in your partner.

#16 – Write down the facts of a situation – it helps to see things logically and objectively.

#17 – Don’t make assumptions, always ask questions – wait until you can be face-to-face or at least video calls before bringing up issues – try to avoid texting.

#18 – No means no in every instance. Stick to your boundaries and your morals.

#19 – Be respectful of each others feelings. If one of you doesn’t like something, stop doing it.

#20 – You both should be not only willing but actually compromising in the relationship.

Those are my top 20! What are yours? Leave a reply below, add to the list and let me know what you think…

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